Something has quietly shifted in how young people in Kenya love. These days, when you ask someone if they’re in a relationship, you rarely get a straightforward “yes” or “no.” Instead, you hear things like, “We’re just vibing,” or “We’ll see where it goes,” or that classic Nairobi line, “Let’s not complicate things.”We laugh about it online, but behind the humour is a truth many of us don’t want to admit: situationships have become the new normal.
It’s not that young people stopped wanting love. They still want connection, companionship, and someone to share life with. What they don’t want,at least not right now,is the weight that comes with labels and commitment. And honestly, it’s hard to blame them.
Life has become expensive in ways our parents never imagined. Rent alone can make someone lose their appetite. Transport is unpredictable, food is a luxury, and even planning a simple date feels like doing a budget meeting. When you’re constantly juggling responsibilities and chasing stability, a committed relationship starts to feel like another bill waiting to be paid. So many people choose something lighter, something that doesn’t demand financial consistency;something like a situationship.
But it’s not just the economy shaping love. A lot of young people are carrying emotional wounds from home. Many grew up watching marriages crumble, parents hurting each other, or families staying together physically but falling apart emotionally. Those memories don’t disappear just because you’re grown. They sit quietly inside you and whisper that love is dangerous, that commitment leads to pain, that it’s better to stay guarded. A situationship becomes a safe distance;close enough to feel wanted, far enough to escape if things get too real.
Then there’s social media, constantly feeding us curated perfection. You scroll through Instagram and see couples with coordinated outfits, surprise gifts, coastal vacations, soft-life picnics, and anniversary videos that feel like film trailers. Meanwhile, your own life feels ordinary,matatu rides, work stress, and two samosas for lunch. Instead of trying to match those unrealistic standards, many people choose something with no pressure to perform. A situationship doesn’t require a matching outfit or a “couple goals” photo. It’s private, simple, and free from comparison.
Dating apps have also changed everything. With a single swipe, you can meet someone new. If someone annoys you, you can replace them within a day. This constant flow of options makes commitment feel risky. Why settle when there might be someone “better” one DM away? So people keep the connection undefined,not fully in, not fully out,just in case.
There’s also a tiredness that sits heavily on this generation. Young Kenyans are exhausted. They’re studying, working, hustling, and surviving all at once. Emotional energy is low. People barely have the strength to manage their own stress, let alone maintain a whole relationship with expectations, communication, anniversaries, and accountability. A situationship feels easier. It’s companionship without emotional burnout.
And with gender roles evolving, things feel even more complicated. Women are becoming more independent, more ambitious, more self-reliant. Men, on the other hand, are navigating pressure to provide in an economy that makes even survival a struggle. Both sides are trying to adjust to shifting expectations, and in the confusion, commitment feels daunting. Situationships offer flexibility;each person can define the connection in a way that suits them.
But perhaps the biggest reason for all this is the desire for freedom. This generation wants to travel, grow, build careers, chase dreams, and figure themselves out. They don’t want to feel like their life is being slowed down or shaped by someone else. A situationship gives them warmth without the weight, intimacy without obligation.
Still, beneath all these reasons, there’s a simple but unspoken truth: people aren’t choosing situationships because they don’t believe in love. They’re choosing them because the world around them feels too uncertain, too expensive, too demanding. And love as beautiful as it is requires stability, vulnerability, and consistency, and those things feel harder to come by today.
Maybe one day, when life gets kinder, many of us will return to real relationships with clarity and confidence. But for now, situationships have become the shelter where a generation hides trying to protect their hearts while still craving love.
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